Confessions of a Former ‘Candy and Beer’ Pairer


Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, head quite beery, Over many a forgotten and cringe listicle built to bore, While I guzzled, interest sapping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of someone gently rapping, rapping at the newsroom door. “Tis some visitor,” I muttered, ”tapping at the newsroom door — Only this, and nothing more.” Edgar Allen Poe understood the horror of shame as well as any author in the American canon.

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